You know that the video I shared earlier begged to be expanded into a television show. And that for the proper setting, the show itself would market products in a way that is illegal today; yes, the show would be sponsored by Marlboro.
So without further ado…
“Product Marketer For Hire,” Sunday at 9pm: “The Stranger”
(The show introduction is followed by a Marlboro commercial.)
Scene 1: Main Street, Ontario
(Sharp-eyed Inland Empire residents will notice that this depiction is entirely fictional, since the real “Main Street,” officially known as Euclid Avenue, is much wider and less dusty than the street depicted here. Allow me artistic license.)
As the Ontario townsfolk were gathered on the street in late afternoon, a mysterious stranger rode into town. He was a most unusual man. For one, he was smiling, unlike the other strangers that have come before him. For another, his brown/tan/black official western wear issue (Montgomery Ward catalog, pages 333-334) was rudely interrupted by a blue patch with a “B” on it. There was something else odd about him, but no one spoke of it.
The mysterious stranger rode up to the saloon, dismounted his horse, and walked in.
Scene 2: The Saloon, Ontario
The mysterious stranger slowly walked to the bar and took a seat as the bartender eyed him warily.
“What’ll you have?” the bartender asked gruffly.
“Strum,” the stranger replied.
(Hey, Inland Empire residents, I got that one right.)
As he sipped his drink, the stranger couldn’t help but notice the older man in a gray jacket staring at him. As everyone in the saloon quietly watched, the older man slowly walked toward the stranger.
“Sir,” said the older man.
“Yes?” asked the stranger.
The older man gestured toward the stranger’s belt. “Those aren’t guns you have in those holsters.”
The stranger paused. “No, they’re not.”
“In fact,” the older man scoffed, “they look like pencils.”
The stranger nodded. “Yes they are.”
The older man’s face betrayed the slightest smirk. “Why” – he paused – “would a man carry PENCILS in his holster?”
As the older man and the others in the saloon broke out into grins, the stranger eyed them all with a serious expression. He paused before responding.
In a loud voice the stranger replied. “Business.”
Everyone looked puzzled at that unexpected response.
After a long pause, the older man turned back to the stranger. “Sir,” he asked, “exactly what kind of BUSINESS are you in?”
(Time for another Marlboro commercial)
Bredemarket 